So the last 2 weeks John Paul's been at a training meeting for his company. They put him up in a hotel about 30-45 minutes away so he would be near the meeting center. I've got to see him a little when it worked out with my work schedule.
When I've not been up there or at work I've been lonely. Like pain in my chest just want to be near another person who cares about me hurts so bad sometimes its tough to breath. I feel like a total loser. I know I'm not all alone in the world. I know there are people who care about me, and I'm blessed by that fact. Right now I'm crying because none of those people are even close, and I don't know when I'll get to see most of them again will be. I know we will go home sometime, but not sure when.
I'm glad I have a job, and am helping pay bills, but a little part of me wishes I hadnt' found one yet so I could just go home, and get hugged every day (not that JP doesn't hug me, but I'm going on a big shortage here) I wanna laugh with friends, I wanna have a braums ice cream and share my heart, I want to go to church and visit my church family.
I'm still strugging with not finding a church home here. We've been going, but really haven't connected with anyone, and am finding it hard to figure out how to get plugged in. I don't need to know all 400 people, knowing one and developing a friendship would do my mental health a lot of good. there are nice ladies at the Nazarene church, but that's not where JP wants to go, and I've been working most Sundays anyway. Work is really awesome, and I get saturdays off so I can go to church.
Sorry, you had to hear my pity party. I know it will get better. I'm just in a valley. Gotta have the vally to know the mt top right? It still hurts, but we serve a great God right. I'm sure there's something better just up the hillside. Just gotta make it to the hillside to start climbing!
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2 comments:
Oh Fibby you do like hugs. I am not a hugger, but if I were there I would give you a really big one! Hang in there and don't let yourself get too down. Things will get better, if for no other reason than that you won't live there forever!
dana you know you are loved a w h o l e bunchs at home we miss you also i was real unhappy that i did not get to see you at christmas what with you being on the road for 2 days then sking really sucked love ya little girl
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